


Tam Lin and the Pirate Queen

by Ostentenacity



Category: Tam Lin (Traditional Ballad), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Ballad Meter, E/em Tam Lin, Epic Poetry, Iambic Heptameter, Janet Is A Badass, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27980772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ostentenacity/pseuds/Ostentenacity
Summary: I do dare you pilots allWho ‘cross the heavens tear,To venture out to CARTERHA,For quick Tam Lin is there.---The ballad of Tam Lin, as performed by the crew of the Aurora.
Relationships: Janet/Tam Lin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 27





	Tam Lin and the Pirate Queen

**Author's Note:**

> Forever sad that I didn't get into the Mechs early enough to back them on Kickstarter and get them to adapt Tam Lin. If you're reading this for the Tam Lin and don't know who the Mechs are, 1. they're great and 2. the actual Tam Lin part of the story ends at the first section break. 
> 
> It didn’t fit in the meter, but CARTERHA = Central Automated Reserve TERraforming Hub A. (Thanks, Rusty!)
> 
> Content warnings at the end.

I do dare you pilots all  
Who ‘cross the heavens tear,  
To venture out to CARTERHA,  
For quick Tam Lin is there.

Tam Lin, they say, will make a bet,  
With any pilot ready,  
That e can beat them in a race,  
Yet keep eir engines steady.

There’s none that leave from CARTERHA  
Except with ship a-flame,  
For quick Tam Lin, with practiced ease,  
Can put them all to shame.

Janet, in her space-suit green,  
Gold goggles o’er her eyes,  
Has off and gone to CARTERHA  
At light-speed she did fly.

Old CARTERHA, the pilots say,  
Was once a bustling station,  
But now it’s empty, cold and dead,  
Stripped down to its foundation.

But though, out in the cold of space,  
The station decomposes,  
Where once lay hydroponics labs,  
A greenhouse floods with roses.

Janet had pulled up but one rose,  
From there where it had grown,  
When up to her came quick Tam Lin,  
Said, “Lady, let alone—

“Why have you boarded CARTERHA?  
I sent out a transmission,  
Warning all those who come by here  
To seek out my permission!”

But Janet smiled and shook her head,  
Said, “CARTERHA’s slain crew?  
They were my kin. By rights, it’s mine.  
I’ll ask no leave of you.”

“Then let us race,” said quick Tam Lin,  
“This sector’s very perilous.  
I could not, in good conscience, leave  
My garden in hands careless.

“Round the station we shall fly,  
Through wreckage thick and thin.  
The victor’s prize: they’ll remain here  
And CARTERHA they’ll win.”

So to their starships they both ran,  
Into the black they went,  
They flew for hours, on and on,  
‘Till all their fuel was spent.

And Tam Lin, who’d not met a foe  
That e could not dispatch  
Found that e’d neither won nor lost—  
E’d found at last eir match.

“Stay here,” quick Janet said to em,  
“The prize shall go to you.  
But I’ll return whene’er I please,  
For I’m the victor too.”

Then Janet left from CARTERHA,  
Friends with quick Tam Lin,  
For ‘twas renown, and not the wreck,  
She’d set out for to win.

And perhaps she did go back  
One time, or two, or three.  
All I know is that, ‘fore long,  
Deeply in love was she.

Janet, in her space-suit green,  
Gold goggles o’er her eyes,  
Has gone back to her home statiòn  
At light-speed she did fly.

Four and twenty pilots brave  
Lounged in that great hall;  
In walked Janet, chin held high,  
The boldest of them all.

There were murmurs among the crowd,  
On faces, joy and rue.  
“What is it?” quick Janet did ask,  
“What troubles all of you?”

Out then spoke her father dear,  
And he spoke meek and mild,  
“I do believe, O daughter mine,  
That you expect a child.

“But shall you want a rest?” he asked,  
“From flying, for a time?  
For if you do, well, none of us  
Can fly near so sublime.”

“Though I’m the best, ‘tis true,” she said,  
“Don’t fear for our survival.  
I’ll go and bring back home a friend,  
My one and only rival.”

So Janet, in her space-suit green,  
Gold goggles o’er her eyes,  
Has gone again to CARTERHA  
At light-speed she did fly.

And there within the garden green,  
To Tam Lin she drew near,  
Said Janet, “My dear friend, my love,  
Why can you not leave here?

“For I plan to raise our child,  
And though of course you’re free  
To stay in CARTERHA, my dear,  
I wish you’d stay with me.

“Will you come with me, and guard  
My home while I am resting?”  
Said Tam Lin, “I want to, love,  
But there’s a matter pressing.

“Seven years ago, you see,  
The Pirate Queen I met,  
When she saved my very life  
And left me in her debt.

“See, every seven years, her crew,  
To her flagship they cleave,  
And slip past the blockade of Hell  
Upon All Hallows’ Eve.

“Beside and behind the ships,  
One captain always tarries,  
For sentries of Hell’s blockade  
Are keen-eyed and wary.

“The sentries catch the straggler,  
And deal them swift defeat,  
But in their zealous fiery rage  
They miss the larger fleet.

“I am not precious to the Queen.  
This year she flies to Hell,  
And the captain who must die—  
It fear it be myself.”

“What must I do?” Janet then cried.  
“Your life I dearly cherish.  
The only one to equal me—  
I will not let you perish!”

“Then go to Lightyears Cross,” said e,  
“Where many ships do pass.  
And wait there for the Pirate Queen  
And her assembled mass.

“First let pass the frigates brown  
And then the freighters black.  
Fly up to the star-white craft  
And pull me from its back.

“For I shall fly the uncloaked ship  
And draw all sentries’ fire.  
You must be careful, Janet, love;  
The danger will be dire.

“And then, at last, when I am out,  
You’ll weather one last storm:  
The Pirate Queen, with her strange might  
My body shall transform.

“She will turn me in your arms  
Into a snake or asp,  
But hold me tight and fear me not  
Just keep me in your grasp.

“She will turn me in your arms  
Into a lion’s might,  
But hold me tight, don’t let me go,  
And for you I shall fight.

“She will turn me in your arms  
Into a swan so wild,  
But hold me tight and see me true  
And I shall love our child.

“She will turn me in your arms  
Into a sword red-hot,  
But do not fear, Janet my dear,  
For I shall harm you not.

“And she will turn me in your arms  
Into a naked captain,  
Bring a spare space-suit with you  
I’ll need one to be wrapped in.

“When all that is done, my love,  
You’ll win me fair and true,  
And all the massèd pirate horde  
Must bid me adieu.”

Then Janet, in her space-suit green,  
Gold goggles o’er her eyes,  
She went down to Lightyears Cross  
As fast as she could fly.

And from the vastness of deep space  
The mighty fleet, it plunged  
With the flagship at its lead  
Down towards Hell it lunged.

But Janet let pass the frigates brown  
And then the freighers black  
She went up to the decoy ship  
And broke open its back.

The Pirate Queen transformed Tam Lin  
Into all mann’r of beast,  
And when her tricks had all run out  
The pilot she released.

Tam Lin and Janet, hand in hand,  
Fled back to Janet’s home,  
And for the rest of their shared years  
Together they did roam.

* * *

The Pirate Queen? What came of her?  
Well, that’s a funny story.  
For what she really, truly sought  
Was science, and not glory.

Tam Lin was her experiment  
In nanotransformation;  
And once e was emself again  
She had her vindication.

And though some of our lackeys longed  
To chase them, to advance,  
Our dear “Queen” Raph—and all of us—  
Do love a good romance.

So we released them, that they might  
Live out their mortal span;  
Let them believe they’d bested her  
And not followed our plan.

A decoy was still needed, though;  
Among us we drew lots.  
And Raphaella, tragically,  
Took the unlucky shot.

She cursed me for a cheater then,  
Though I was in the right:  
“Goddamn it, Jonny, I still have  
A lab report to write!”

But she spread her wings and flew  
Along the great fleet’s side  
And in the sentries’ plasma fire  
She (temporar’ly) died.

And when she’d landed down on Hell  
Her tattered wings unfurled,  
She asked, “But Ashes, why not pick  
A less well-guarded world?”

* * *

“Because I wanted to rule _this_ one.”

“Ashes, the meter!”

“Oh, fuck off, Jonny, the song was finished eight verses ago.”

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings: pregnancy, (Tam Lin canon-typical) transformation into beasts, (Mechs canon-typical) injury/temporary character death
> 
> Tell me your favorite verse, if you like :)


End file.
